Sept 15: Batman

"The Dark Knight of Gotham City begins his war on crime with his first major enemy being the clownishly homicidal Joker."

Directed by: Tim Burton, Rated: PG-13, 126 minutes

Tim Burton's Batman is what turned me onto The Dark Knight. As a young kid, looking for the "ultimate superhero" to worship and idolize, I found so much awesome in Batman that I was immediately hooked. The suit, the gadgets, and the Batmobile gave me something I not only wanted to be a part of, but awesome toys to play with as well (and as a kid, toys are king). Then, just as I was getting into the movies, a glorious thing happened. Batman: The Animated Series premiered and I just about lost it. I couldn't get enough of Gotham's Finest and the obsession rolled in faster than a Batrang flying at a gang of criminals. Now, whenever I hear Danny Elfman's memorable Batman theme, I go back to my childhood and worship the Bat even more, tapping into my nostalgia for a quick fix. 

The movie also gave me the most memorable VHS cover of all time. Just the Bat Symbol- so simple. 

Burton's Batman skips the origin story for the hero (played by Michael Keaton) and focuses on his greatest nemesis, The Joker (Jack Nicholson). The film starts with Batman already doing what he does, but alludes to the fact that he's still a mysterious figure that's popped up in Gotham City. We then see Jack Napier, a professional criminal who's looking to move up in the underworld. After a chemical accident turns his skin white and leaves a permanent smile on his face, Napier takes on the persona of The Joker, a man hellbent on destroying Gotham and taking control of the city. Driven insane by his accident, the man will not stop at nothing to take over and stop the Batman from doing any more good for the city. As The Joker begins his takeover by contaminating the city's hygiene supplies (makeup, deodorant, hairspray, etc.), turning all those who use any products into grin-faced corpses, Batman must figure out a way to stop him, while juggling a love interest (Vicky Vale played by Kim Bassinger), who's a little too curious as to what's going on in the city. 

The Clown Prince finally portrayed as a homicidal freak. 

While I appreciate the film starting off after Bruce Wayne takes on the cowl, the semi-focus on the origin of The Joker is a little out of place. I know a part of it is faithful to the comics, but I don't see how a man falling into a vat of chemicals makes him bat-shit crazy and insane. I would have much preferred to see The Joker exist already, and simply bring his mischief and chaos to Gotham in full force. Luckily, even that smallest bit of disappointment is almost washed away immediately with Jack Nicholson's performance. He steals every scene he is in and seeing his trademark grin (stretched a little wider for the role) and hearing him laugh like a mad man never gets old. His gadgets are just as entertaining and the more comedic route he goes about the role makes his darker moments even creepier. Michael Keaton also does a terrific job as Bruce Wayne, even though I've never thought he fits the role physically. However, even then he's just not on screen as much as I remembered. There's just a lot more focus on The Joker and his story. 

Keaton's Bruce/Batman focuses much more on the gadgets than brute force. He's still a stud. 

While I could go on for days about the film, I'll wrap up saying that Batman really isn't as good as I remember it being. Maybe a part of that is having the Nolan Dark Knight trilogy fresh in my mind, or maybe that times have changed so much that a somewhat campy adaptation just doesn't do it anymore. I actually prefer the animated series over this film and feel the colorful villain and over-the-top style fits much better when hand-drawn. Batman will forever have a place in my heart and I will never downright hate the film, but I have to say it has not aged as well as I hoped. The pacing is a little weak (back to the focusing on The Joker issues) and the entire film looks like it's on one giant sound stage. To argue that, however, one could say that it's a faithful adaptation to the comics, which I agree on, but I guess these days I'm just looking for a bit more from my superheroes, even if it's Batman. 

The Good:

seeing Batman in a live-action movie and realizing how much the film did for the hero and comic book adaptations as a whole (and of course, Nicholson)

The Bad:

too much camp in a post-camp world, feeling more out of place today than anything else

The Ugly:

realizing the film isn't as great as I remembered, with plenty of flaws that I now see as a more "experienced" movie-watcher

Overall: 7.8/10

Trailer:

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Pick Six- Favorite Spielberg Movies That Aren't Jaws, Jones, or Jurassic

Yes, it's been way too long since I did my last Pick 6 but I felt inspired by re-watching Raiders of the Lost Ark to create a new list. This time around I'm breaking down my six favorite Steven Spielberg directed movies (because God knows how much stuff he's produced) that aren't Jaws, Indiana Jones, or Jurassic Park, three movies/franchises that are a given on any list surrounding the man. Let's begin. 

Back in May, I revisited Minority Report and was reminded of its glory. Of Spielberg's more recent films, Minority Report has the most action and imagination, taking a futuristic suspense thriller into a direction we've never seen. Painting a vivid image of a not-so-distant future, Spielberg creates a world too familiar, yet very surreal. As most actions lack a lot in the plot department, this film manages to tell a story so unique and original you can't help but get completely involved. The idea of pre-crime opens up so many possibilities and seeing Tom Cruise race to prove he didn't a commit a crime he hasn't committed yet is exhilarating and intense. 

The Adventures of Tintin is one of my favorite movies of 2011. Like Indiana Jones, Spielberg manages to capture a grand sense of adventure and put it all together in a 90 minute masterpiece. Unlike most motion-capture movies that look creepy and awkward, Tintin looks magnificent. The film is also incredibly humorous, bringing the charm you see in the Jones movies. Unlike live-action flicks, Tintin has no need to cut away from the action. This creates an even greater scale for the action and adventure and seeing it all unfold, in one "take" makes the entire film feel like one hell of a ride. 

Hook has a special little place in my heart, as I grew up watching it hundreds of times. It's a semi-sequel to Peter Pan, imagining what would have happened had Peter left Neverland and had a family of his own. Robin Williams plays Peter to great effect, and seeing him slowly find the kid in himself again is fun to watch. Not to mention, Dustin Hoffman's Hook is terrific and is still the best version of the legendary villain. Throw in a bunch of lost boys, Rufio, and a great soundtrack, Hook is one for the ages. 

Steven Spielberg has a great history of casting actors (sometimes, very young ones) who go on to have very successful careers. With E.T, he launched the career of Drew Barrymore, Schindler's List gave us Ralph Fiennes, and Empire of the Sun introduced the world to Christian Bale. At just 12 years old, Bale manages to give one hell of a performance as a young boy struggling to survive in a war torn Japan during World War II. Much of this can be attributed to Bale's raw talent, but a part of it has to be the directing power of Spielberg, who always gets the best out of each of his cast members. Empire of the Sun is an unflinching, yet beautiful look at the devastation of war and the loss of innocence, and Spielberg manages to craft a story in the rubble, giving us another memorable (and severely under-looked) film. 

Saving Private Ryan is the most realistic look at World War II ever put on film. It's hard to watch and packs one hell of an emotional punch, but it's something that needs to be seen by everyone. With large action sequences, including the most unflinching depiction of the storming of Normandy, Saving Private Ryan paints the most graphic and honest looks at a time in our history we will never forget. It depicts the horrors of war, including the brutal and deadly battle, but also manages to inject a whole lot of heart, showing the motivation behind each man on the front lines and why they fight. The film shows that the soldiers who fought for our freedom were just as regular as the people we know but with a hell of a lot more courage. Beautiful and tragic, Saving Private Ryan deserves a spot on the list of the greatest movies ever made. 

In all honesty, if I had to pick my favorite Steven Spielberg film of all time, he'd have to be Catch Me If You Can. It's a severely underrated movie that warrants countless viewings and gets better each time. Based on a true story about a real life teenager who, for years, cons his way through professions, cities, and out of the FBI's reach, the film feels too incredible to be real (but it is). As much as I'd credit Titanic for the success of Leonardo DiCaprio, I strongly believe it's this film that showed us how great of an actor he can really be. In a way, you could include him on the list of actors Spielberg helped "make" into stars. Catch Me If You Can is filled with both adventure and humor, and, as all of his films, has an emotional core you can't help but sympathize for. 

Just Missed the Cut:

E.T/Close Encounters of the Third Kind- While I understand their love and respect them for what they are, I have never been the biggest fan of either film

Schindler's List- I wanted to include this movie, but I've only seen about 80% of it (I know, I'm an awful human being)

A.I: Artificial Intelligence- beautiful, but way too long and depressing

Steven Spielberg Breakdown:

I have reviewed:

Minority Report

The Adventures of Tintin: The Secret of the Unicorn

Raiders of the Lost Ark

Average Rating: 9.57/10

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Sept 14: Raiders of the Lost Ark

"Archeologist and adventurer Indiana Jones is hired by the US government to find the Ark of the Covenant before the Nazis."

Directed by: Steven Spielberg, Rated: PG, 115 minutes

I must admit, I've been pretty spoiled this week when it comes to movies. Not only was I able to see The Princess Bride on the big screen but I was also able to catch Raiders of the Lost Ark in IMAX- glorious, glorious IMAX. How often does anyone get the chance to watch two movies that have been out for over 20 years on the big screen? Raiders of the Lost Ark is a film for movie-lovers and turns a regular theater-going experience into something memorable. And after seeing it again, it's even harder thinking that it's a thirty year old movie. It has stood the test of time in all its glory and reminds me of the good ol' days of Indiana Jones, everyone's favorite adventurer. 

As everyone knows, Indiana Jones is an archaeologist and treasure-seeker, always looking for the world's greatest artifacts for the sole purpose of knowledge. He doesn't care about the money or the fame, but simply wants to see our history in a museum for everyone to see. Known for getting the job done, Jones is approached by the US government, asking him to acquire the Ark of the Covenant, an artifact said to carry the actual Ten Commandments. The United States hopes to find the Ark before the Nazis, who are looking for the Ark to give Hitler the "unlimited power" the relic is said to hold. As any secret treasure would hold, the Ark is not an item you just find. You need the pieces, specifically the Staff of Ra, to discover it's location. So Indy heads to Nepal and asks Marion Ravenwood (Karen Allen), the daughter of Indy's mentor as well as his former lover, for a piece of the Staff. She joins in the search with Indy and the two head to Cairo, where they gain another ally in Sallah (John Rhys-Davies), who's known as "the best digger in all of Cairo". The Nazis, led by rival archaeologist Rene Belloq (Paul Freeman) have already begun their excavating and Indy must race against the Germans, and time, to find the Ark before them. 

It's all goooooooooooooooolllllddddd.

The best part of any Indiana Jones film (except... yeah, we won't go there) is the action. Spielberg is an avid fan of using practical, live effects in all of his films and Raiders of the Lost Ark is a perfect example of that. Each sequence, whether Indy is running from a giant boulder or driving a truck along the cliffs of Cairo, implements some of the best stunt-work I have ever seen. As a lover of film and, in my opinion, somewhat knowledgeable about movies, seeing this technical aspect of the film on the big screen gave me the biggest smile you can imagine. Using stuntmen adds a level of suspense you can't achieve with CGI and seeing an actual person in peril, hanging on the edge of a cliff, running from a real explosion, or dragging his feet while hanging onto the back of a truck, leaves you in awe. I really wish more techniques used in Raiders of the Lost Ark were still used today, as they really look better than anything else you can create with a computer. 

Moving onto the acting, Harrison Ford is absolutely perfect as Indiana Jones. He's as iconic as the character and re-watching his introduction film reminds you that he's one of the greatest movie, nay fictional, characters of all time. Ford brings his charisma and machismo we saw in the Star Wars trilogy, and adds another layer of genius and courage that shows all of his motives are for the ultimate good. He can tell you the history behind Tanis, a lost city in the Middle East, and then the next moment go hand to hand with a bunch of Nazis. As good as any hero can be, he's never as strong without his allies, and Indy has quite the group of friends behind him. Karen Allen does a great job as Marion, kicking just enough ass and holding her own in a fight to be an equal match for Indy, as well as having her few moments of "damsal-in-distress-ness" to give Indy someone worth fighting for. John Rhys-Davis, best known for his role as Gimli in The Lord of the Rings trilogy, is the jolly, loyal giant Indy needs in a strange land and proves his value on several occasions. He's a big lug you can't help but love and his excitement in the search for the Ark is a joy to watch. And, as always, a hero is nothing without a villain and Paul Freeman absolutely delivers as Balloq. He's just as charismatic as Indy, and even a damn good archaeologist in his own right. He just so happened to choose the wrong side in the fight of good vs. evil and plays Indy's counterpart wonderfully. 

He wears a white suit the only way a villain knows how- with Nazis in the background. 

Raiders of the Lost Ark is everything you could ask for in a movie. It's full of adventure, action, humor, and glorious set pieces you never see anymore and shows you what the magic of movies really is. Although Raiders has never been my favorite Indy flick (The Last Crusade for the win!), I still love the hell out of it and respect it on a technical aspect. Seeing it in IMAX made me appreciate every little detail in the film, from the exotic locations to even the costumes. But as great as the movie looks, it sounds even better. John Williams' iconic score inspires your own sense of adventure and hearing Indy's theme in a packed theater gave me all kinds of chills. Along with the suspense of the stunt work and action, Williams manages to heighten it even more, knowing when to hit the action and cue Indy's theme. 

Thank you, you musical wizard. 

I don't even think I have to go and say I'd recommend this movie. It's universally loved by practically everyone and it's place in cinematic history has been cemented for decades. It's a damn near perfect film that is like nothing we've ever seen (and still haven't seen) and reminds us what a true story of adventure holds. As a kid, I watched all of the Indiana Jones movies over and over, and as I can imagine the same with other young people, made me really, really want to be an archaeologist. Indy's main message is that knowledge is sacred and that the more we learn, the better we are as people. With all of the films, even though a dose of supernatural is added in the mix, the curiosity it inspires fits that message. Raiders of the Lost Ark, as a film, does exactly what the titular character wants, and encourages all of us to go on our own adventures and explore the world. 

Overall: 9.7/10

Trailer:

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Follow Friday: Today I Watched a Movie

Before I continue with this Follow Friday, I feel like I should apologize to Justin at Today I Watched a Movie. He was the first movie blog I really followed and even introduced me to The LAMB, a community of movie bloggers that I have become incredibly involved with. One would think that I'd throw Today I Watched a Movie up as my Follow Friday a lot sooner and I really have no excuse. So Justin, I am sorry, I hope this "heals the wound that never was". 

Today I Watched a Movie is a movie blog a lot like mine. He posts a review each day (thus the title) and has kept up with it for a really, really long time. Unlike the usual review format you see on most blogs, TIWM uses a clever little rating system with an even fancier little graph. Justin breaks down each film in five different catergories- Plot, Characters, Visuals, Product Placement, and Rewatchability. Combined, the rating system is measured on a scale between 0 and 3. Justin then makes a fancy little image (poster and all), goes into detail about each section and BAM! you got a nice, easy to read, straight to the point movie review. Thus, you can stop over on his site and find yourself reading review and review. While I have found myself to disagree with a few of his reviews (he's running a contest if you think something he watched should be rated higher), I do enjoy checking out his site and read it every day. 

Help Justin Reach 1,000 Twitter Followers and Follow Him @todayiwatched

Past Fridays:

Cinematic Corner

French Toast Sunday
Flights, Tights, and Movie Nights
Two Tickets For...
Two Dude Review
Film Flare

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Sept. 13: Dodgeball: A True Underdog Story

"A group of misfits enter a Las Vegas dodgeball tournament in order to save their cherished local gym from the onslaught of a corporate health fitness chain."

Directed by: Rawson Marshall Thurber, Rated: PG-13, 92 minutes

Dodgeball is a movie that's fun to watch on TV whenever it pops up. It's nothing you necessarily want to seek out, but it's a nice way to kill 90 minutes when you have nothing else to do. It's a comedy that would have benefited a lot with an R-rating and I think it's inability to really "grab life by the ball" and go all out really hinders the film. Yes, it's funny, yes, it's great seeing Ben Stiller in a role similar to his role in Heavyweights, and yes, it has Vince Vaughn doing a good job, but the story is just a little too all over the place and downright stupid to consider this a comedy classic. One thing it does, however, is make you really, really want to play adult dodgeball, join a league, and kick some ass. 

Yes, please. 

The film follows Peter (Vaughn), the owner of a dilapidated, near-bankrupt gym called Average Joes. The place is a hangout for a bunch of 'losers' and a nice play for them to turn when life slaps them in the face. Across the street at Global Gym, White Goodman (Stiller), is obsessed with being fit, looking good, and surrounding himself with only attractive people. Global Gym is a place no one but steroid-juicing man-things would work out and has the completely opposite mission statement than Average Joe's. After Goodman threatens to buy the property Average Joe's is on, Peter must come up with $50,000 by the end of the month to save his place from going into foreclosure. Of course, it being a movie and all, it just so happens that the national dodgeball championship is just about to begin, with the prize totally $50,000. So Average Joe's creates a team, led by Vaughn, that includes the like of Justin Long, Stephen Root, Alan Tudyk, Joel David Moore, Chris Williams, and Stiller's real life wife, Christine Taylor. They enter the tournament under the tutelage of Patches O'Houlihan (Rip Torn), a hall of fame dodge ball player. Not the man to just sit down and take it, Goodman starts his own team and enters the tourney as well. Chaos, dodging, dipping, diving, ducking, and more dodging ensues, and both teams work their way to the somewhat climactic match in the finals. 

Bizarre but entertaining, Rip Torn makes Patches even...weirder?

It's in the ridiculously formulaic plot that Dodgeball loses itself. Every "twist" in the plot you see coming from miles away and the obvious match-up in the final is too 'eh' to really care about. Along with the weak plot, none of the characters are worth cheering for. Vince Vaughn phones in his performance, only showing the smallest bits of improvisation genius and Ben Stiller has his moments, but he's just too over-the-top. I will admit, I did laugh a lot throughout the film, more so at the supporting cast, like Stephen Root's weirdo-sometimes Hulk-angry 'family man', Alan Tudyk's pirate obsessing Steve, and Jason Bateman's even weirder Pepper, the ESPN 8 announcer who commentates each match. The best part of the film is the actual dodgeball games, with each match having it's own ridiculously awesome theme-teams, from The Lumberjacks, to The Kamikazes. However, each of these teams are on screen for just a few moments and never given a real chance to not only play dodgeball, but show off their unique skills. 

Too much, Ben... too much.

Even with its flaws, Dodgeball is still entertaining as a whole. As I mentioned, it's a good movie to catch on TV when you're bored, but it's nothing worth seeking out. Overall, it's rather disappointing in its execution and story, but its moments that are funny, are hilarious. It also puts a highlight on an awesome sport that can only be 1000x more fun as an adult than it was in high school. I saw this film a long time ago and really loved it, but after re-watching it I'm sure that it's nowhere as good as I remember. Either way, watch it if you want, or go find yourself a red ball that throw it at someone's face. Both are fun... kind of. 

The Good:

showcasing a sport that looks so much fun with a tad pit of humor thrown in here and there

The Bad:

two main characters that are not the most likable, with Vaughn not committing 100% to the role and Stiller committing well over 100%

The Ugly:

a plot that is just too lacking and messy, never knowing where to go 

Overall: 6.7/10

Trailer:

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Sept 12: The Princess Bride

"A classic fairy tale, with swordplay, giants, an evil prince, a beautiful princess, and yes, some kissing (as read by a kindly grandfather)."

Directed by: Rob Reiner, Rated: PG, 98 minutes

As some of you may know, The Princess Bride is my favorite movie of all time. I never get tired of it, watch it whenever it's on TV, and quote it on a near daily basis. Thanks to the glorious people at Tugg (I'm plugging it because it's awesome, no sponsorship here), I was able to catch this perfect little movie on the big screen, something I was never able to do as the the film came out two years before I was born. All day I was antsy and excited, eagerly anticipating seeing Westley, Inigo, Fezzik, Buttercup, Humperdink, Count Rugen, and everyone else in an actual theater, with hundreds of The Princess Bride lovers like myself. All of my favorite (FAVORITE) movies I've been hesitant to review, as I never know if what I can say will do such films justice, but seeing this bad boy on the big screen has encouraged me to attempt such an endeavor. So here it goes, my review of The Princess Bride. 

Also, as inconceivable as it may be, I did participate in a blogathon where I re-cast this film with pre-1965 actors as well as (God forbid) a remake if it had to happen. Check it out here. 

For those of you that don't know the story (shame on you!), The Princess Bride follows Westley (Cary Elwes) a farm-boy turned 'pirate' who returns to his home and seeks his one true love, Buttercup. After Westley doesn't return from his quest to "seek his fortune", Buttercup gives up and reluctantly agrees to marry the evil Prince Humperdink (Chris Sarandon) After she is kidnapped by Vizzini (Wallace Shawn), Inigo Montoya (Manny Patinkin), and Fezzik (Andre the Giant) who plan on murdering her and blaming the death on a neighboring country in order to start a war for Humperdink. Westley, dressed in black, mask and all, chases after them and plans on rescuing his love. Through a series of events, Westley earns the respect and trust of both Inigo and Fezzik, and the three storm Humperdink's castle after he's recaptured Buttercup. What unfolds is a tale of "fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, and miracles", all told by a grandfather (Peter Falk) to his grandson (Fred Savage). 

He's the grandpa we all want to read stories to us. 

The Princess Bride is a rare kind of film, as its entire approach is that of live (and campy) effects, witty dialogue, plenty of action, and more humor than you'd believe. There's really nothing like it and it's one of the main reasons I love the film so much. Adapted from a book by William Goldman (who also wrote the screenplay), the movie creates a world so full of vibrant characters that exists somewhere between the world we know and a fantastical realm we read about in fairy tales. For instance, it references real places like Australia and Greenland, but then has rodents of unusual size (R.O.U.S) scavenging about in the Fire Swamp. It's a genius method of storytelling as it's essentially our world injected with romanticizing themes full of adventure and peril. It's also worth mentioning that the score, composed by Mark Knofpler, is just as entertaining, being just as memorable as the rest of the film, especially the fact that each 'action' in the film is hit with a sound of music that just highlights the humor. 

The movie also features the greatest sword fight of all time. Ever. Period. 

Of course, a movie like this would be nothing without its perfect cast. Cary Elwes is the perfect hero, combining a bit of Robin Hood with a dash of piracy and a bit Musketeer. Westley's motive of true love is something pure and simple, and everything he does is worth rooting for. Robin Wright does a great job as Buttercup and tip-toes the line of damsel in distress and feisty heroine brilliantly. All she wants is for her love to return and nothing (or anybody) can stop her from getting that. The star of the show, however, is Manny Patinkin. His Inigo Montoya is iconic in every sense of the word and his subplot of revenge is a large driving force of the film. He's superb as the Spainard seeking vengeance against the Six-Fingered Man (Christopher Guest), and every line he mentions is immediately quotable, especially, of course, the "My name is Inigo Montoya, you killed my father, prepare to die!" line. His partner in 'crime, Fezzik is played by Andre the Giant, a man so unique in size and nature that you can't help but remember him. The duo's pairing leads to a large part of the film's humor and seeing them work off of each other is magnificent. The Princess Bride also has incredible supporting actors, from Wallace Shawn's off the hinges, "Inconceivable" shouting Sicilian, Vizzini, to Chris Sarandon's ultimate jerk, Humperdink, who gives you absolutely nothing to cheer for. Oh, and there's a hilarious Billy Crystal thrown in the mix. 

He's onscreen for maybe five minutes, and each second is side-splitting funny. 

There's so much charm and humor to The Princess Bride, it's incredibly hard not to love. Whenever I've told anyone that it's my favorite movie, I usually get an odd look of "Okay...?" or a huge smile in agreement. It's almost universally loved and referenced and all of the fans of the film (that I know) are die-hard lovers of the movie. I can't begin to express in words how much I love this movie. It's unique and original and full of energy, imagination, and life, and captures a feeling very, very few films have been able to accomplish. In the past, I always thought I was bias when talking about this film, as it's my favorite, but after re-watching it on the screen with a theater packed full of fans like me, I am now more certain than ever that The Princess Bride is one of the greatest movies ever made. 

Overall: 10/10

Trailer:

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Sept. 11: What to Expect When You're Expecting

"A look at love through the eyes of five interconnected couples experiencing the thrills and surprises of having a baby, and ultimately coming to understand the universal truth that no matter what you plan for, life doesn't always deliver what's expected."

Directed by: Kirk Jones, Rated: PG-13, 110 minutes

It's only fair that after making my girlfriend watch Snatch, Sin City, and other manly movies, she would make me watch something of the rom-com persuasion. It just so happens (kill me now) that What to Expect When You're Expecting popped up at Redbox. This film has everything in a film that makes you hate movies, life, and anything else related to the term "chick-flick". The idea that a movie could be adapted from one of the most un-adaptable books of all time is disgusting, but then throw in a cast of some of the most hated actors and actresses (in my mind) and What To Expect When You're Expecting is torturous to watch. 

Whenever you have the f**ker from Glee in a movie, you know you're gonna have to a bad time. 

There's so much to hate about this movie. A bunch of good looking rich people get knocked up and "struggle" through their pregnancies and births, wondering how to raise a kid that's not even here yet and learning what it means to be a parent. None of the characters have any depth or emotion to them, and sympathizing with any of them is damn near impossible. Even the sometimes Elizabeth Banks turns into a character that's too cliche and stupid to care about, and each line she mutters is something you've heard 1000 times before. The rest of the cast is just as unlikable, with people that shouldn't even bother acting, actually participating in the film. Jennifer Lopez, Matthew Morrison, Brookyln Decker, and Cameron Diaz are all unfit for movies (hate me if you want) and seeing them try and carry a film is simply laughable. Throw in a ton of other recognizable faces and you still have a shit movie. It's funny how studios think that throwing a bunch of somewhat "talented" people into a film will make it good, when really none of them have any acting chops worth awarding or recognizing. 

The film even features The Quaid as an ex-NASCAR driver who's always in Margaritaville. 

One of the worst parts of this film is the ending. As every film of this "style" does, everything comes together in the end at the hospital. Obviously through the magic of movies, everything happens at the same time and the entire cast, even those you didn't think were related, somehow manage to come together. It's a lazy technique to wrap everything up and the fact the filmmakers think it's a good ending is even worse. It's also worth mentioning that a movie based off of a self-help book teaches absolutely nothing about pregnancy or babies in general. Unless of course you count arguing about circumcising, epidurals, or buying an incredible house (for the baby). 

Go to sleep, Junior. There's nothing to see (or enjoy) here. 

As you can imagine, I would highly recommend staying away from this movie. It's hands down one of the worst movie of not only the year, but in recent memory. As you can tell, I didn't even both attempting to explain the plot, as there is very little outside of pregnant people with a ton of money complaining about having a baby. The guys in the film, in their own little "Baby Club", may have stolen the movie and made it decent had every line they uttered not been force-fed to us in the trailers. There are no surprises in this flick, nor are there moments worth laughing at. It's a string of unfunny jokes with dated references (each 'relevant' pop culture reference has no lasting power) and a cast so easy to hate you can't even try to like this movie. Skip it. Burn it. Forget it. 

The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly:
see above (hint, it's everything)

Overall: 1.2/10

Trailer:

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